


Tragedy Comes In The Little Things

by BroodyJC



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 19:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12260877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroodyJC/pseuds/BroodyJC
Summary: Kara dies on a Sunday.And Lena stands at the DEO, watching as she falls, and falls, and falls.She doesn’t get up this time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing until I can manage the time to finish writting my other fics (it's going to take a while, I'm really sorry), but I intend to (even though I disappeared for a long while - Sorry, again). This isn't pretty and I don't even know where this came from. (I do actually - from the whole Kara Danvers is dead thing.)

Kara dies on a Sunday.

It happens when Lex manages to escape. They all know Kara can’t do this, Superman almost couldn’t. But Kara is stronger, and so is Lex.

She had smiled and kissed her, promised she would be back before she went to sleep. It was the first promise she had ever broken.

And Lena stands at the DEO, watching as she falls, and falls, and falls.

She doesn’t get up this time.

**

Numb is probably the closest word to describe how she feels as she stands, as far as she can from the coffin.

_You shouldn’t have come._

But she stands, head high and twenty yard away from where she can see them all. James, Winn, Lucy, Clark, Lois, Alex… Alex. The one person she couldn’t handle right now, the one person who hated her the most.

_You shouldn’t have come._

She’s also the only person who sees her.

The look of pure hate on her face reminds Lena of all the reasons they should never be together first place.

And Alex walks over, Lucy snaps her head to her and attempts a smile, it’s wrong. It’s all wrong. Because who should be here is not.

_You shouldn’t have come._

But Alex hugs her tight, sighs a resigned sigh and whispers:

“I’m glad you could make it.”

And Lena clings onto her, way too exhausted to cry after only thirty seven hours later, and it seems enough.

_It’s not._

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Lena. It’s not your fault.”

**

Kara’s things are still on their, not their, _her_ apartment a week later. Maybe it’s her fault. There’s not much she could do from her office.

But a week into paperwork and surviving only from coffee and takeout once a day, Alex comes striding in, furious.

At first, Lena had looked at the fast opening door and held her breath. Once upon a time, it would’ve been Kara. _It’s not,_ she chastised herself and tried to keep the hope off her face.

Alex doesn’t say a word as she starts gathering all the papers scattered around the floor, putting them on a neat pile over her desk and coming behind her to shut down the laptop.

Lena doesn’t argue. It used to be a normal occurrence with Kara. It still is. With Alex.

They don’t talk. It’s a strange change on dynamics on their relationship. It feels like the very first time, six years ago when she was still Miss Luthor, not Lena, and only Kara’s friend. Not her girlfriend. _Her fiancée._

When Alex stops in front of her building, all Lena wants to do is hide. It’s just one of all the thing she doesn’t want to do but has to. The first time she hears a voice different from Jess in a week happens when she opens the door to leave.

“Lena?” She freezes, body halfway out of the car, fingers shakily wrapped around her purse. “I don’t know how many times I’m gonna have to say this to you, but it wasn’t your fault. Kara was stubborn and hard-minded, this isn't on you.”

“It wasn’t hers either.”

She leaves before Alex can answer. They all know where the responsibility lies: in the one person who loved her.

**

The first time she wakes up in her bed after everything, when the tiredness of a week with barely two hour sleep each night finally settles, realization takes a minute too long to happen.

Because she wakes up, rolling over her side and stretching her arm across the bed and to the warm body next to hers, only to be met with cold sheets and reality. She closes her eyes, tears threatening to fall as she curls her fingers around the place Kara used to be. _It should be her shirt. It should be warm. She should be here._

It’s also the first time in a week she allows herself to cry, as she curls around the pillow that used to be Kara’s. It’s the first time in a week she’s not too tired to break. And she always did this sho beautifully, why would it be any different now?

She doesn’t leave the bed that day.

**

Her pair of stilettos feels wrong standing alone at the corner of the bedroom. The house feels wrong, because it’s too silent without Kara’s indistinct mumbling as she stumbles through the hall, half asleep.

Everything feels wrong.

Especially the bed. It’s too big, too cold, and too still when she doesn’t have Kara on her side. And after three days, the sheets don’t smell like Kara anymore.

She sleeps on the couch for the rest of the week.

**

Making coffee gets hard. She realizes it when she already has a mug on her hand and another on top of the counter, waiting for Kara to come out of the bathroom, rushing through the kitchen and trying, and failing, to get to work in time.

She stares at the offending piece of porcelain. The _#SGNº1_ a mocking statement to her eyes. Her jaw drops. Kara is never coming out of the bathroom to take it and leave the house after a quick kiss and a _Dinner on me?_.

Kara is not coming back.

Her grip on her own mug lossens up, coffee burning through her skin as the mug goes down. Lena looks up as she hears it shattering on the floor, waits for the sight of a very worried Kara to appear on the hallway. And waits. And waits. And waits.

She waits for the _Don’t move._ It doesn’t come either. She takes a tentative step forward, warm coffee on the sole of her feet and a piece of porcelain breaking it. She feels the pain, it’s real, this is real. And Kara is not coming.

Lena decides the kitchen is another out of bound place.

**

It takes her a month to go back to work.

But staying in was making her crazy and, well, she still had a company to run, even with Jess working as hard as she could.

Somehow, working is as unhealthy as staying home. She went back to the same she was six years prior, work above all. No friends. No family.

And Alex gives her space, Jess doesn’t mention it even though Lena knows she’s worried, she would be too if she still cared about the darkening circles under her eyes. She doesn’t. Not when Jess drags her away the office to go home, her apartment doesn’t feel like it anymore, and her warmest welcome is the crack of the wooden floor.

Her office becomes her apartment as it used to be.

**

James hosts a game night three months after her death.

 _It’s what she would want_ , and Lena barely holds the scoff the threatens to leave her lips.

But she goes anyway. She regrets it the moment she sets a foot in his apartment. Because game nights aren’t game nights without Kara. They are in an odd number again, and the look on their faces, the amount of bottles of wine already empty by the time she gets there, leave no room for misinterpretation.

They’re mourning. And Lena doesn’t know how to mourn in front of people.

Not when they’re not Kara.

**

Lena is too short to reach the top shelf on the grocery store. It was always Kara’s job.

She breaks in the middle of the store, sitting down with her back pressed against the bottom shelf and eyes locked on her left hand. She hadn't had the opportunity to wear her ring, Lex took it from her.

And she remembers, as if it had happened hours ago, how Kara had rolled over and nuzzled against the back of her neck, words tumbling out of her mouth until Lena understood.

_Marry me._

Lex killed her three days later.

The ring is safely locked on the last drawer at her desk on her office.

She doubts it’s ever going to see the light of day again.

**

It takes the DEO four months to catch her mother. Another two to find Lex. And six more to arrest him.

_Arrest._

He killed Kara. _Arrest._

She watches it all from a screen, like she did a year ago, but this time J’onn was not there cradling her into his chest and pleading her not to look. She had. So she looked this time.

Alex drops by, wanting to tell her in person, only to see Lena standing, arms crossed and defeat on her face. She takes two glasses of whiskey instead.

They drink in silence, Lena trying to get used to the feeling of it after so long, and Alex not knowing the right words. There were none. She goes with the truth.

“I almost lost Kara once. I killed her aunt and, for once, I knew she wouldn’t forgive me. I knew I was going to lose her in the worst way possible, because I would be dead to her. I was wrong. And today, Lena, I wanted to kill him. Because he took the person I love the most, because he killed the most selfless, caring, lovely person in the world. He took her from me. And being locked up isn’t punishment enough.”

_I want him dead too. He took her away from me._

“But then I remembered her face when she found out. And I thought about you, how you would feel with no family, and I couldn’t take him from you, no matter how much I wanted to. I already lost a sister, I don’t want to lose another.”

“You should’ve killed him.”

Alex stops, looks at her. Truly looks. And, for the first time, talking about Lex brings pain for total different reasons.

“What?”

“I love him, I do, I did but…” She gulps down the rest of her whiskey. “Kara was going to marry me. We were going to tell everyone on Tuesday night, and then he killed her. I lost them both that day.”

“You asked”

“She did. And I said yes, because I couldn’t imagine my life without her. Now,because of him, I don’t have to imagine it anymore.”

They get drunk together that evening.

**

Friday night, her doorbell rings at two in the morning.

It happens right after the end of Lex’s trial and she can’t shake the stupid voice in the back of her head.

The voice that keeps telling her it was all part of a bigger, very stupid plan by Kara to keep her safe, that she’s going to open it and she’s going to be there, apologies in the tip of her tongue. That Kara is not really gone.

But it’s Alex. Bottle of tequila in hand and too little balance.

 _Kara is gone_ , she tells herself as she leads Alex to the guest bedroom and tucks her in. _Gone_ , she repeats sitting down at the edge of the bed and letting Alex hold her hand.

_Gone._

_Gone._

_Gone._

And there is no one to stop them all from hurting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because apparently I have a soft heart and can't write angst to save my life (also, hate sad endings, yeah, I'm that soft)

Alex used to tell her that her ability on making stupid decision was her lowest quality. How well she took care of her own health was just another example of that. 

Somehow, she manages to make the stupidest decision of her life. 

Lena understands it the moment she sets her foot down on the maximum-security facility and is surrounded by at least half a dozen agents. She should've told Alex where she was. She should've told J'onn.  

But it's too late now. Because she's already being led to the depths of the prison, and into a room divided on its half by a half wall, thick glass covering it until the ceiling, one chair and one landline each side. 

Two guards stop behind her and another one stands by the same door she came in. 

She doesn't need to look at the glass to know when he steps in, the look of pure terror on the guard's faces were enough. There was a time in which Lex was the only person who brought peace to Lena, the only person who could make her feel better. Then peace became revulsion, a feeling she couldn't shake every time they mentioned his name, because she couldn't connect those two people. Because that wasn't the Lex she knew. 

Now, just the thought of him only brought her anger. She was never afraid of Lex, she could never be, but angry? Oh, she was. Her angriest. 

Lex is already sitting down, phone against his ear and a dangerous smirk on his lips, waiting for Lena's next step, two guards at his side of the room just as wary as the one's with her. She doesn't falter, striding to her chair and sliding down smoothly. Lex's eyes don't leave hers for a moment, she doesn’t break it either, she wouldn't show fear. Not of him. 

"I thought you'd never come." Lena doesn't answer, the smirk gives space to a full-on smile. "Someone learnt." 

Lena studies him, the shaved head, the redness around his eyes from lack of sleep, the already sulking cheeks, cuffs around his wrists. His sight made her sick, because as much as she didn't want to admit it, they were somewhat equal. 

"I'm sure you didn't come here just to look at your brother." 

"You are not my brother." 

"She speaks." He gets closer to the glass, a glint in his eyes Lena couldn't name ten years ago. Now she knows. Madness. "And, last I checked, we are." 

"We choose our family." 

Lex laughs at that, head thrown back, sound startling the two men standing behind him. He recomposes, scoots forward on his chair, nose almost touching the glass and Lena has to fight the urge to slide backwards. She could deal with Lex. 

"You mean that agent, what's her name again, Alex? Or you mean J'onn? Pardon me, Mr. Henshaw. No, not them, the other one. The one who  _disappeared_ last year. Kara, if I'm not mistaken. Are you talking about her?" 

She tightens her jaw, the free hand coming to rest on her knee and squeezing it as hard as she could.  

"Don't say her name." 

"Did I strike a nerve? Is it a sensible subject for you? Isn't that why you came? To talk it out and solve things with words like you're supposed to?" 

"No." She says defeated. To be honest with herself, Lena has no idea why she came. Maybe to make sure he couldn't elicit any other emotion rather than anger, at that she was right. "You took everything you could from me, L-Corp is destroyed after everything you did and I can't rebuild it this time, no matter how hard I try. Everyone waits for me to become you, to snap and go after the one super alive. You wrecked my family, because you took the one who kept us all together. So, I think I came here to congratulate you; for taking away everything that made me happy. You won, Lex. How does it feel?" 

"As good as it felt when I shot her." It's impossible not to feel sick at how happy she looks by his actions. She wonders when she lost her brother, better yet, she wonders if she ever had one. 

"Enjoy your time here, Lex." 

Lena hangs up before she gets an answer, and doesn't turn around at the sound of his fists against the glass or of his muffled screams. She might not have won all the battles, but this one mattered. Even if only a bit. 

She cries during the ride back.  

** 

 _“_ _And_ _you’re_ _sure_ _you’ve_ _eaten_   _tonight_ _?”_  

“Yes, Alex. I’m pretty sure my last meal happened two hours ago.” 

 _“_ _Where_ _are_   _you?”_  

“Home.” 

 _“Liar._ _"_  

Lena snorts, which is something she could profusely deny if anyone asked, but she had slept seven hours in the past three days, threfore too tired to care. And it's Alex. Because nowadays it's always Alex. 

She gently closes her notebook, suddenly sheepish as if she could sense the scold on Alex's face right now.

 _"Go_ _home, Lena."_  

“I will.” 

 _“Liar._ _Don’t_ _make_   _me_ _leave_ _my_ _place_ _to_ _get_ _you_ _to_ _yours_ _.”_  

“You’re at the DEO, Alex. You forget you can’t lie to me.” 

 _“_ _Don’t_ _work_ _yourself_   _too_ _hard,_ _t_ _hen_ _.”_  

“I won’t.” 

Lena hangs up first. 

** 

It’s one am. The blinking digits on her watch are just a painful reminder of the time, a reminder of how much she's slept past time, how long she's been up and pushing her time of work to later and later. 

It's one am and she's too tired to fight the memories away. She sighs, presses the pad of her fingers against her burning eyes, the unreleased tears going back to the place they belonged. And she can' stop herself from looking.  

The bottom drawer stares back at her, a hint of defiance she was never able to conquer. But it's been a year.  _A_ _year, sixteen days and ten, no, and_ _eleven_ _hours._  She would have to face it one day, she decides it would be today.  

And the ring,  _God the ring_ , is just like what she remembers, it's the same one she spent hours and hours staring at until the sight of it only brought pain. She lets it slide on her finger, she remembers Kara putting it there after kissing each and every single one of her knuckles, a simple gesture that made her cry. 

It only brings a sense of weirdness now, it feels too loose around her finger, too bright against her skin and, most importantly, it wasn't Kara who put it there. But she doesn't have to courage to take it out, not again. 

The sound of the doors to her office opening makes her jump, she turns her chair around on instinct, not wanting to let Alex see her on the edge of crying again. 

“Alex, I told you I’d be alright.” But her voice betrays her, it trembles in the middle of the sentence, bottom lip quivering when she adverts her eyes. 

"It's not Alex." 

Lena never believed in the words  _whole world stopping_ , but it sure does felt like that. Her body freezes and she doesn’t find the strength to get up, to look at the door, to look at the voice. 

She looks at her watch again. She's been up for thirty-one hours, sure it's enough to make people hear voices and hallucinate. A deep breath in, a longer one out. 

"Lena?" 

Her hands grip the arms of her chair, as hard as she can, tries to remind herself what's real.  

But it's getting harder to concentrate, especially so when she can hear her own heartbeat, and things are getting too loud and she swears she can hear a breathing that it's not hers. She exhales once, twice, three times, before she feels safe enough to stand. 

She doesn't turn around at first, still trying to gather enough courage to come to the realization that she's going crazy, while fighting that voice that maybe.  _Maybe. Maybe._  

 _Maybe._  

"I should've called first, right? Maybe gone to Alex, but I really needed to see you, because I've been trying to get back to you for four days, and you weren't at our place, are you back at bad working habits? I might have broken a window by the way, it" 

"Oh my God, Kara." 

She's there. Standing a couple of steps away from the door, left hand clutching at her side and she might be leaning most of her weight on her right leg, but she's there. 

Hair disheveled, a jacket three sizes bigger than hers around her body, eyes wide and carrying a tiredness Lena herself could understand. She looks like she might pass out at any time. 

"God, I'm hallucinating. Alex is going to kill me. I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy." 

Kara takes a step forward, Lena takes two back. 

"Lena, it's me."  

And the pleading look on her eyes make Lena lose her breath. It feels like a weight is being put on her chest, and she stops. Kara takes a tentative step forward, then another and another still. 

"I kissed you for the first time at that couch, we were having lunch, I was telling you about Krypton and you had that look in your eyes and I was sure. On our first date I was so nervous I dropped your wine on your dress, it left a stain on the red dress you loved so I let you borrow my jacket and we ended eating breakfast from dinner on a rather suspicious diner. I told you I was Supergirl and you laughed, then whispered 'I fucked an alien'." 

Kara sends her a painful smile, hand gripping harder at her side, her legs almost giving out by the time she manages to round Lena's desk. She leans against it, takes a minute to regain her breath. 

"I asked you to marry me. I wanted to just fly you to Vegas and get it done, but you wanted our friends, our  _family_  there. Then" she stops as if remembering something "then Lex shot me. Three times. And it was different from all the other times. I... I bled." 

"You died." 

"Yes. No, no. Clark. Clark helped. And that other man. He helped taking me to the Fortress, because Clark couldn't do it alone. Something about Kryptonite bullets that shredded and kept poisoning me. It affected Clark too. I don't remember much, I can't remember much, I couldn't stay awake." 

And all the effort seemed to be making Kara weaker, her hand slips from the desk and she stumbles forward, Lena being fast enough to wrap her arms around her body. 

 _It's real. She's real. She's here._  

"You're bleeding, you shouldn't be bleeding." Kara lets her left hand fall, a red stain covering most of her right side and a tiny spot on the jacket. "What do I do, Kara?" 

"I missed you saying my name." The smile she gets is slow, the words coming out of her mouth get lower. Kara takes her left hand, Lena feels the blood against it but she doesn't mind. Not this time. "You're wearing it." 

"I just put it." 

"Then I came back at the right day." She manages a small chuckle before it turns into a whine. "Call Clark, he'll know what to do. He's going to kill me for leaving." 

"You're not dying in front of me again." 

** 

Alex arrives first. She comes in running to find Lena sitting in the middle of the floor of her office, couch by her side and talking in a low tone with someone. It's when she notices Lena is not alone. And that there's blood on her clothes and on the couch. 

She pulls out her gun. 

"Lena?" 

The brunette looks up, at the same time of blue eyes. 

Lena watches as all the confusion sinks into her face, she is sure that's how she looked when she first saw Kara. She sees the way she lowers her gun before pointing it with even more purpose. 

"Lena, get away. It's not Kara. Kara's dead." 

"Alex..."  

There's a thud outside, Superman walks in with nothing but rage in his eyes but he doesn't step too close to Kara or Lena. He takes in the scene, from Alex, to Lena and Kara, to blood dripping on the couch. 

"Dammit, Kara! Alex, lower the gun, it's Kara." 

"What?" 

"Just lower it, Alex!" She does as she's told, reality sinking that they didn't lose Kara. Not forever, actually. "You weren't stable to leave, because we didn't remove all the Kryptonite yet, your powers aren't all back, you could've died! For real this time! What about not risking you again didn't you understand?" 

"Can we leave this for another time, Clark? We need to take Kara somewhere." 

"Lena, can you call one of your drivers to take her?" She nods. "Take her downstairs, Wayne is already on his way. Alex, call the DEO. Tell them Supergirl is alive." 

He leaves before they can say anything else, and Lena is left staring at a tear stained faced Alex. 

She moves first, getting up and helping Kara do the same, Alex comes to help her carry Kara downstairs. 

"I'm sorry I took so long to come back to you." 

"You're here now. It's all that matters." Alex answers once they enter the elevator. "But, believe me, the moment you recover I'm killing you. Then Clark." 

The sound of Kara's chuckle was something Lena never thought she would hear again. 

Kara dies on a Sunday. 

It happens when Lex manages to escape. 

Kara comes back on a Thursday.  

No, Kara comes back on a Friday.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hit me up on tumblr: @broodyJC

**Author's Note:**

> Come hit me up on tumblr: @BroodyJC
> 
> Yes, you can scream at me there


End file.
